THE SPEECH
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.
The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.
Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen".
On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.
When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen".
On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.
When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying -Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."
Events today in South Somerset & West Dorset
US Halfpipes @ Chicago Rock Café, Yeovil
Live Music TBC @ Harry's Bar, Yeovil
Events today in Taunton & Bridgwater areas
Modern Jive @ Royal British Legion Club, Taunton
LIECHTENSTEIN - Cows On A High
Now we finally know why the people of Liechtenstein are so relaxed. Their cows have been eating hemp for centuries. And it appears that THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, made from the hemp plant cannabis sativa, makes its way into the milk. According to the Dutch science magazine Kijk (May 2005) the government has cracked down and farmers will have to look for a new type of cattle feed. And Liechtensteiners a new drug?
The Editor
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